Ok, So I'm 27 years of age, I've been single on and off for 5 years. Decided in January of this year that I would stop going back to my ex and try meet some new guys, so after moving to a new area it was just the fresh start I needed.
I was lucky enough to meet a new guy almost immediately, we had loads in common, very similar sense of humor and it didn't hurt that he was a bit of an Adonis. After a week or three of flirting, we kissed at a party and it was almost immediately apparent that we were nothing more than friends, still good friends now and he  (unlucky for him id say) has become a bit of a sounding board to my disaster dates.

So after trying to meet guys on nights out, I was convinced by a work colleague to try online dating and was even given a website to try, where she had actually met her boyfriend (and baby daddy), so I thought if she could bag a bit of a babe online, no real reason why I couldn't..... Right?...
Id never really thought to deeply about online dating, I know everyone says its for serial killers and people with foot fetish's but I had the audacity to think I could filter out the men from the menteler's, well there must have been a major hole in my filter!


OK so I post my profile, picked my favourite pics from my facebook page, 6 to be precise, a mix of head shots, a few with friends and one or two showing my fun side-joking around that kind of thing.
Described myself as a 5 foot 5 girl, average body shape who wants children, doesn't do drugs, who likes art but doesn't know to much about it, has a fun loving personality, doesn't take life to serious but has ambition and drive and seeks similar- in a more long winded version....

First Mail I get is from a 34 year old guy who calls himself Hugh, his profiles describes him as an "Outdoors type" and I'm not reading in between the lines here, this is actually what he said to me.

"Hi there, I'm Hugh, nice to meet you, you are beautiful and sound interesting, we seem to be from the same area, I will tell you a little about myself. I am 34 years old, single about 2 years, I love the outdoors, I like to go for walks in the forest and hunt for my own food, would love to speak to you more and possibly meet up sometime"

I simply replied "HUGH MUST BE MAD IF YOU THINK I'M GOING INTO THE WOODS WITH YOU!"

But I wasn't discouraged, not yet anyway.

Mail two:

A guy who starts with the classic
"Hey"
always gets the juices flowing!! but he looks good in his pics , so I go along with it.

We make the usual small talk, talk about what we do for a living, what we like in a partner, how long we are single, then there is a few minutes pause in messaging and he hits me with this little gem....

Don't mess with the master!

Mail 3:
I think his profile picture tells it all..........

I wonder can I borrow those trousers??

Mail 4,5,6,7- about 22 are all just "hey how are you?" kinda stuff, ignored 95% of them, then started to mail a guy who lived about 30 Min's from me.

He was handsome, 32 years of age - so I thought abit more mature maybe? 

Had a ten year old child- so able to re-produce and open to having more kids in the future?

Had tattoo's - so wouldn't be turned off by my own selection of body art?

Really chatty and asked a lot about me - so able to carry a conversation and actually interested in getting to know me?

Had a great job until recently, but actively seeking employment and doing odd jobs where possible - Its a recession, loads of people are out of work, so not a deal breaker?

So after a week of mailing on said website, we exchanged personal email address's which led to phone numbers, which led to all day texting for a few days until he asked could we meet?

I was going to be working in his area one week day so we arranged a coffee date - easier to bolt after ten minutes if things are not going well, than if you arrange to go for a drink, then you kind of feel like you have to see it through till closing.

So coffee it was. 

Day came round, I sent my bestie a pic of the culprit, his contact number and told her everything i knew about him, along with the address of where we were meeting ( you cant be to careful ) assured her I would stay in public at all times and not give him the chance to kidnap me and chop me up into teeny tiny pieces and feed me to his pet ferret ( i dunno if he had a ferret, but he could have)

So I walk in and see him straight away, hes exactly like his profile picture, thankfully!

We sit, drink tea and coffee and chat for two hours, goes really well, he insists on settling the bill and he walks me to my car, which we end up sitting in talking for another hour, eventually I say I better head home, he asks do I want to go to the cinema the following night, I agree, give him a peck on the cheek and head on my merry way, pretty happy with how it went.

He texts a few minutes later and says how much he enjoyed meeting me and we continue texting....

Hes earning super points in my book, don't think I had ever been told I was beautiful and checking in if I got back OK, he was doing well!

So the following day we had planned to go to the cinema, I arranged to collect him and just as I arrive he texts to say hes been asked to do a few hours work in a local bar, I tell him its no problem,we re-arrange for another day as I have plans for the rest of the weekend, these things happen and I offer to drop him to the bar on my way home.

As I'm driving home there is no texts but I tell myself he's probably busy with work.

Next day about 2pm still haven't heard from him, I'm thinking this isn't good, but i text him anyway and ask how was work last night and I'm driving to a family occasion when I get the following:

"Hey sorry about last night, I really am, I got on good, it was quiet enough, I'm going to be straight with you, I met the ex and ended up in hers so I'm going there for dinner today to talk things over so going to delete my profile and your number, hope you understand, enjoy your day, I'm sorry.|"

Not going to give him the satisfaction of saying what I'm thinking which is I bet I was dropping you at the bar to meet her and your not "going there" for dinner, you are still there from last night and really want to text

"You baldy sh*thead, the cheek of you, I hope she gives you crabs!" instead I reply with............

"No problem, I hope it all works out for you!"

Better to be the bigger person I was always told! Messages deleted, number deleted!

Back to the drawing board.....

Reply to another guy who looks a bit of alright in his profiler...

Usual johnny waffles again for a few hours, I'm heading to bed when he asks for my number, we are getting on okay so I think, cant be any worse than the last guy..... right??

First text is something along the lines of "what is your bra size???" I'm thinking are you for serious????

what happened to the nice guy I was mailing ten seconds ago????

I'm gettin' peeved off at this constant battle of sh*te talk from random strangers who think its acceptable to talk to girls like they are working for bang babes, but I have manners so I reply.

"You're obviously just looking for a bit of fun, I have numbers in my phone of guys I know for longer than five minutes, that should the mood take me I would talk to them like that, not some guy I've spoke to online, no harm done if that's all you want"

YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK GOODBYE!

I wake up the following day to a text from an unknown number but I know exactly who it is.....

"Hiya pet, how are you??"

I'm thinkin' are you havin' a giraffe mate??? you text me three days ago to say your getting back with your ex! Yep its him!!!!

I reply "I thought you were deleting my number?"

Him- We had a good chat and decided it was never going to work out so just left on good terms

Me- I really don't know what to say to you **** like it was really good of you to be honest and tell me you'd been with your ex, you could of strung me along and you didn't, but I don't think we can just take up from where we left off?

Him- I'm really sorry xxx

Him Again a while later- Please can we just try it again, I made a big mistake

(so I think right we've all been there... gone home with an ex so maybe I can give him ONE more chance)

Me- OK lets just forget about it and start again

Him- Ye cool, do you want to come over and watch a DVD and chill out later?

(I'm thinking, don't get ahead of yourself, you have some making up to do, so you'd wanna do better than a DVD!!)

Me- Sorry I have plans for the next few days and working tonight.

Him- You can come over after work if you want

Me- Don't think that's gonna happen, were starting again, not from where we left off!

Him- Okay what about a date this Friday?

Me - Okay but if anything comes up, like I mean anything, your town gets locked down cause theres an outbreak of anthrax, your done!

Him- It wont xx

Later that night.....

Him- Hey chick will you call in on your way home mad to see you

(I know your game buddy, this is not gonna happen)

Me- Mad for your hole more like

Him- No not at all just want to see you

Me- well you can wait a few more days till our date

(I'm getting a bad feeling and this time I'm gonna follow my gut so I hatch a plan!

I'm meeting him on the Friday at 8pm, so he thinks anyway, he is just looking for a easy ride and I am anything but, so Friday evening comes around 8:20 my phone rings and I'm sitting curled up on the sofa in my pj's with a glass of wine and hes standing outside a restaurant in the cold waiting on me, like I said before don't mess with the master.

3 texts and 5 missed calls later I think he gets the message.

Stupidly this still doesn't turn me off I'm still on the hunt for Mr.Right, no longer settling for Mr.Right now, the hunt continues I will keep you informed......