As Part of my new years resolutions, I resolved to going out of my comfort zone even further than normal, in my dating life. I have a bit of a type, not set in stone, its more like what I'm attracted to but those haven't worked so far so maybe I need to change that.
Resolution breakdown:
I'm attracted to guys with dark hair and dark features but always seem to go end up with fair haired guys.
-Need to go on at least one date with a dark haired guy
I love nice arms, bit muscly or toned you could say, don't like really skinny guys and not to fond of meat heads either, I like the in between.
-Try a meat head, ye never know he might have a little something between the ears.
I've always dated Artsy/ Musician types. I'm not into sports so always avoided football fanatics or gym junkies, cause they will just make me feel fatter and lazier than I already feel.
-Get over it and go out with a guy who likes/play sports, he might even encourage you to get off your ass.
Always date dub's! Cant be dealing with accents, stick to what ya know has always been my motto.
- Get over that too, your not in Kansas anymore..... so get used to the accents, ROOOOIGHT!
So there just a few examples of what I was setting myself up for. I changed my search details to look outside of Dublin, Body Type Athletic and didn't click off the profile the second I read they like the gym or playing football 3 times a week, watching it in all their free time and want to play for Sheffield City Farm United football club when they grow up.
I get a message from PB on Jan 3rd @ 7:13 am
PB: Well howz thingz? did santa cum to ya haha
( I don't think a fat man coming into your house in the middle of the night credits a haha but what ev's)
Me: No I was to bold!
PB: I taut tat, u even look it hahaha only jokin, how did you spend your new yrs eve
Me: In prison
( I wasn't in the humor)
PB: I was at my sis wedding (obviously glazing over my jail time!) were do ya head out
Me: To my local tavern usually
(I'm not telling him where I get drunk regularly in case he shows up there one night)
where you from?
PB: (he tells me where hes from, I've never heard of it, its about 40 Min's from me in the SHHHHTICKS!)
I don't write back..... I'm a Bitch so what!
Jan 05th 8:30pm
PB: Wel r ya hitin the town tanite?
(I really hate when people don't even try to spell properly! but I did say I'd give the country folk a try so I'll be nice!)
Me: No Quiet Night in for me, working tomorrow so goin' to just chill out tonight.
PB: Jesus u work Sundays, wat kinda job hav u got
Me: (I tell him my job) what do you do?
PB: I used to work in da builden but I work on my familys cattle farm now.
(
Definitely not my usual Artsy/ Musician type, but maybe I'll get some free steaks... turns out its a Dairy farm :( ............... Mama don't need no milk...ah well)
After more waffling I agree to go on a date with him in a few days and we are texting every day a few times a day but I'm not really feeling it, so I cancel on the day and say I'm sick. He keeps texting asking am I better and being generally nice so I reckon the least I can do is go for a drink with him after all it was a resolution to try new things, he has dark hair, he plays GAA and does boxing and isn't starving artist, so he's ticked all the imaginary boxes.
Its the day of the date and I've thrown on my first date outfit
(Yes I actually have an outfit for first dates now I go on that many of them!)
We've decided to go for dinner in a nice place near me, we both have work the following day so we are gonna drive and meet there.
I arrive a few minutes early and order a spritzer, I might need the the alcohol.
He arrives a few minutes later, hes not bad looking and we go sit at our table.
The conversation is flowing easily enough and we are getting on well.
Until I open a can of worms and the little feckers all come wriggling out.....
In conversation I say:
Me: You must have to get up at the crack of dawn if your farming?
PB: Ye I get up about 7 and go out and do the milking and then mam makes us breakfast about 10
Me: Your mam makes you breakfast, that's nice?
PB: Ye well she makes it before she goes to work and just leaves it out for us and then she comes home on her lunch to make OUR lunch
Me: She comes HOME FROM WORK on her lunch break to MAKE YOUR LUNCH?
PB: Ye
Me: So she makes your breakfast and your lunch
PB: Yes and then dinner is at 5:15
Me: and let me guess she makes that too
PB: ah ye, id burn water, mammy does all the cooking
Me: and what if your mams sick, what do yas do?
PB: She orders us a takeaway
Me: Does she do your washing?
PB: ah ye, I couldn't work the washing machine
Me: Your 28, you lived in Australia for over a year what did you do over there?
PB: Lived with girls who could do it all for me!
So he's starting to paint me a picture of what his life is like!
And what he kind of envisions married life to be for his wife
How I picture Married Life
Don't think this is gonna work.....
He was a lovely bloke but we are just worlds apart so best not to waste each others time.
Resolutions have been scrapped after less than a month but no one can say I didn't try! Made some new ones, more realistic ones this time, none of which have anything to do with dating.
But before I leave ya's I'll give you a sneeky peek at him so you can judge him for yourself!
What yas reckon ;)
Ok so its not really him.. did I have ya goin'?
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